Network Like a Human, Not a Headline

I almost didn’t go.

It had been one of those days – back-to-back calls, brain slightly fried. Low energy. The couch was calling. It had just started raining outside. And the event felt optional…at best.

I stood in front of my closet longer than necessary. Changed once. Changed again. Checked the time. Considered texting an excuse.

You can skip it, I told myself. You’ve already been productive today. No one will notice.

And deep inside of me, a familiar debate was playing out:

What if it’s awkward? What if I don’t know anyone? What if it’s a waste of time?

If I’m honest, I’m an introvert by preference. My favorite moments are spent alone doing things I love — reading, gardening, thinking — or with a small circle of people I already feel safe with. Large rooms do not energize me by default. They stretch me.

So this is not natural for me.

BUT I went.

I walked in a bit tense, scanning the room for a familiar face. Didn’t see one. Took a breath. Walked toward a small group mid-conversation. Introduced myself.

And 45 minutes later, I was deep in conversation with someone I would have never met online. We weren’t exchanging polished elevator pitches. We were catching each other up on life. Talking about what had been inspiring us lately. What felt uncertain. What felt exciting.

No curated headline. No polished bio. No algorithm deciding whether we were relevant to each other or not.

Just two humans. In a room. Talking.

At some point she said, “Oh — you’d love this small founders dinner I’ve been attending.” And then, “Actually, you should meet James. He’s building something aligned with what you’re doing.”

None of that was on an agenda. None of it was strategic. None of it would have happened if I had stayed home.

Also, nothing dramatic happened that night.

BUT… something expanded.

And that’s the thing about in-person connection.

It doesn’t always explode. It expands.

The Core Insight

We are living in a moment where in-person connection is not just nice to have. It’s essential!

So many people right now are:

• Searching for their next opportunity

• Rethinking traditional employment

• Stepping into fractional leadership

• Launching consulting practices 

• Building something of their own

When you take your professional destiny into your own hands, opportunity rarely arrives through job postings or LinkedIn posts or connections alone.

It arrives through conversation.

Through someone saying: “Have you thought about…?” “You should meet…” “We’re actually looking for someone who…”

And those moments rarely begin with a cold message. They begin with proximity.

Here’s what happens when you sit across from someone in real life:

You catch each other up. You talk about what you've been passionate about lately. You share what your building or what feels uncertain or in transition. You mention an idea you’ve been circling. 

And before you know it:

• You’ve learned about a fascinating event you would have never discovered online.

• You’ve been invited into a new circle.

• You’ve uncovered a collaboration that wasn’t posted anywhere.

• You’ve been introduced to someone who shifts your direction entirely.

That’s the expansion we’re talking about.

This doesn’t happen the same way on LinkedIn. It rarely happens over email. It almost never happens over text. It could happen on Zoom — IF we show up open and curious enough.

But there is something else powerful about sitting across from someone: MORE than the words that are being exchanged— your nervous systems are interacting. 

Eye contact, shared laughter, and attentive listening stimulate oxytocin (bonding and trust), dopamine (motivation and possibility), and serotonin (a sense of value and belonging). Mirror neurons fire as you read each other’s micro-expressions and tone, subtly syncing your energy and regulating stress.

And when you’re building something new or navigating uncertainty, that biological reinforcement of connection can make courage feel far more accessible.

And it does something else we don’t talk about enough:

It fills us up.

You might be tired from the commute. Your feet might hurt. Your calendar might feel full.

But somehow you leave feeling… better.

More whole. More connected. More energized than depleted.

Because humans are not built for constant digital proximity. We are built for presence.

Where we've gone off-track

In the last few years we’ve steadily outsourced connection to platforms.

Algorithms distribute content. We measure visibility by impressions and value by engagement. But it's humans that create opportunity. And connection existed long before algorithms did.

In-person conversations create something no platform can replicate: Collision. Serendipity. Nuance. Depth. The subtle “me too” moments that build real relationship instead of surface-level awareness.

The problem isn’t that we don’t value connection. It’s that many of us have lost the muscle of how to create connection. And we have come to feel deeply uncomfortable pursuing it offline.

We associate “networking” with self-promotion. With forced small talk. With walking into rooms where everyone seems more confident, more connected, more certain.

So we stay comfortable. And comfortable is quiet and invisible.

The Courage Shift

For me, the shift wasn’t suddenly becoming “good at networking.” It was releasing the idea that I needed to show up in a certain way.

For years, I thought I had to:

• Have a polished pitch ready

• Deliver an impressive story

• Sound accomplished

• Be “on”

That pressure made me shrink. It made me feel like I was “not enough”. It often paralyzed me.

Now I try something different: I meet new people as if they’ve already been friends. Not overly familiar. Not forced. Just warm. Curious. Relaxed.

I don’t lead with performance. I lead with presence.

Instead of thinking, How do I impress them? I think, Who are they, really?

Instead of asking, What should I say? I ask, What do I genuinely want to know?

Networking isn’t about proving your value. It’s about revealing your heart, intention and direction. It’s about participating in conversations where opportunity can surface naturally.

When you expand your proximity, you increase your surface area for serendipity.

You cannot predict which conversation will matter. But you CAN increase the number of rooms you’re willing to enter.

That’s courage — especially for introverts.

So stop thinking of networking as extraction. It’s not simply about extracting value. It’s about discovering people.

Try this reframe: NETWORKING = CURIOSITY + GENEROSITY IN MOTION

Practical Tools

If you’re wired like me — introverted, thoughtful, easily drained by performative environments — here’s how to rethink human connection and networking in today’s day and age.

• Start smaller than you think: Skip the 300-person conference. Invite one LinkedIn connection to coffee. Attend a small meetup. Join a local workshop or attend a local talk. Courage compounds through repetition, not scale.

• Arrive with better questions: Instead of “So what do you do?” try: – “What are you working on that’s exciting you right now?” – “What kind of conversations are you hoping to have tonight?” – “What’s been challenging you lately?” Better questions = deeper conversations = less awkwardness.

• Show up with an offering, not an ask: Who could you connect them to? What resource could you share? How could you encourage them? When your energy shifts from “What can I get?” to “What can I give?”: You relax. You stop performing. You connect more deeply. PLUS: Generosity makes you magnetic. 

• Give yourself structure:  Stay for 45 minutes. Have two meaningful conversations. Follow up within 48 hours. Framework reduces anxiety.

• Chase Serendipity on Purpose: Sit next to someone you don’t know. Say yes to an event slightly outside of your industry or area of expertise. Ask: “Who else should I meet while I’m here?”

• Create your own room:  If it feels intimidating attending events, flip the script: Host a 5-person dinner. Organize a morning coffee circle. Start a quarterly “walk & talk”. Invite three interesting people who don’t know each other. Courage isn’t just entering rooms. It’s building them.

A Courage Challenge

This week, expand your proximity. 

Invite one person to meet in real life.

Coffee. A walk. A shared workspace for a few hours.

No agenda. No pitch. No transaction.

AND please remember to go as YOURSELF. Not polished. Not performing. Not pitching. Just curious.

Then notice what expands — in your energy, your thinking, your network.

If this resonates, forward this to someone you’d like to sit across from soon.

AND if you’re building something, pivoting, or quietly searching for what’s next — don’t rely solely on digital reach. Expand your proximity!

If you take the step — if you schedule the coffee, attend the event, host the dinner — reply and tell me what happened.

Because connection didn’t start with an algorithm. And it doesn’t end with one either.

This article was originally published on LinkedIn.